i wished for things that i dont need..

and now you say i'm the one whose wrong..
even though you know what's right..


i didnt deserve this.
i don't deserve this.

i'm sorry if you don't know how to handle things..
and so this is the only wayto deal with this.

but no.

you just can't.

why
why
why
why
why.

you were a really good actor. for that whole time.
i believed in you.

wow do i ever feel stupid.
i should have known at the start.


but this isnt my fault.
and im not kickng myself for it.

no.

it's not me.

i guess people change..
or they pretend to be something they're not..
just until it doesn't work out for them.


whatever.
i'm better than this,
i don't need this.


you just need to know
that i can't be treated like this.
i dont deserve this.


i wish you knew.

its better
i feel better.
it happened so fast.
crazy .
i think i felt almost every emotion possible last week.
ridiculous.

time is going by wayyy too fast.
i need to slow down.
not exactly sure how that's possible though..

sigh.

summer is coming up so fast, and i can't wait.
i have so many plans for the summer
but i usually never get around to them all.
but i think i will this summer.

hopefully.


why can't it just leave me alone for a bit?
it hurts me, makes me feel happy, makes me feel guitly,
makes me day dream, makes me cry.
gah
just go away, okay?
i have plenty of time for you later, when i'm ready.
just for now,
leave me alone.

i'll tell you what 'it' is later.
i just needed to get that out.
and sort things out

gahhh/


why can't AOC come back.
that was way too short of a fun time.
its gotta be for a month at least.

next year won't come fast enough
here i go again, with time speedig up
NO i dotn want that.

SLOWW DOWNNN.

yeeeesh.
knock on wood.
wait don't.
i'm not superstitious, thats just stupid.


i saw some pretty spring flowers today.
they made me smile.
i wish there were flowers in teh winter.
that would be cool.

but can you imagine a world without color?
man God thinks of everything.
haha.

obviously.




okay so currently i'm extremely procrastinating
i'm really really good at that
but i know that later toonight i'm gonna wish so bad that i had done things earlier
so that i could go to bed.
beacuse even now i'm so tired.
can't imagine how i'll feel later..

whooooosh.



kk
i'll get some stuff done.
need to get into new habits here.



as some lovely person said to me the other day.. total randomness :
may your gum never lose it's flavor.
hahaha.

i laughed.
have a good one

k.dunn<3

p.s. go to www.allontariochoir.blogspot.com for pictures from AOC !! ii'm working on getting the rest of mine up there ! enjoy =D

wow.

that was a complete blast and a half!!!

AOC 2007.

wow.

we're actualy such an amazing choir, i dont even care that i'm bragging.

lol

i have south african tunes stuck in my head. but that's reall okay.
it makes me rather joyful.

so i must say,
my frienships with people when to higher ECHELONS ( in ode to Keith)
and I made some pretty sweet new friends too.

Tons and tons of pictures taken.
A bazillion laughs each minute.

I love all you guys.
And I can’t even thank you enough for being the friends you are.
Every one of you is so amazing, I can’t even begin to explain.
it's so awesome to belong to a group of friends who are not afraid
to worship God, love Him, serve Him,
and friends who know how to have a truly awesome time.
gahh. i love you.


So yah, I also think that Tim Horton’s/ Wendy’s really doesn’t like us.
Because we randomly bring in all 100 ish of us after the concert.
And then we start singing African tunes just. Because.

But it was totally okay, because we scared the odd stoned people
Out of the place.
They were scaring us anyways.
talking to windex bottles.
WEEEEEEIRdo's

Our theory was that he was so stoned out of his mind, that
He understood Zulu, and was inspired to go to church.
Woot for positivity.
If that’s a word, I really don’t know.

I’m really happy.
And I’m really happy that I’m happy.
Esp considering all the crazy stuff that had been going on earlier.

I Love God.
I don’t understand Him half the time
But . He eventually explains.
And its pretty awesome.


Currently I’m exhausted from it all.
Well my body is.
My mind is still way up there , on an AOC cloud somewhere.
But my body aches.
From human tunnels, jumping train thingies, and other random
Excitements that I endured with friends this weekend.

OH WELL
( in the words of Luke, popularized by Keith. And
Said non-stop by the Stephen of the Gibson )
Haha

Oh.
And
Coffeehouse was frikkin sweet.
I realized once again that I have really talented friends.
(L)
=]
especially dan, whom i never had discovered his crazy awesome
voice before, until our song.
awesomeness.

I really wanna post some pictures.
But I’m wayyy to tired to load them up
But dontcha worry. I’ll get it done eventually.

Uhm so
In summary.

AOC = best time of the year
God = I love Him
Friends = amazingly amazing.
This blog = prolly really messed up cuz I’m just writing things that come to mind
And if you really don’t know what AOC is, I’m sorry. I’m just assuming that
You understand what I’m talking about in this blab of a blog. Woot =]

I think I’m going to go to bed.
Because I’m really really tired.
And I’ve gotta work at 9 in the morning.
GREATTTTT

Oh.
So .
One more thing.
Party.
My house.
This summer.
I’ll let you know
.

because I defiantly cannot wait until next AOC to see you all.
Sigh.
That would be ridiculously LAME.

Uhm yeah.

Just to let you know
Life is grand.

Thula sizwe,
ungabokhala,
uJehova wakho
uzokunqobela.

Inkululeko,
sizoyithola,
uJehova wakho
uzokunqobela.

Nation, do not cry.
Jehovah will protect us.
We will attain freedom.
Jehovah will protect us.







Friggin right. =]


-kathleeeeeeeen dunn.

but when its gone, what would you say...
how do we hold on?

its so ridiculous.
and i've been in such a shitty mood since friday.
which is especially gay, because i had been so happy the week before this.

crying, thinking, praying.

why did it have to be this way?
why can't i experience it for myself?
no, don't tell me how i'm going to feel,
how things are going to turn out.
how am i ever going to know for myself?
-you don't need to know-
i want to know.

i wish i knew what He wants for me in this.
i have no patience to wait.

and i'm too stubborn to admit, that deep down...

they're probably right.

but i dont want to say it.
because for right now, its making me happy.
whats wrong with being happy?
i really don't know.

thats why i'm waiting for my answer.
trying to accept it.

its really hard, you know.
to try and find the positives in everything.

but i'm trying to find it in this.
make it an experience of love, trust, patience , strength.. control.
friends are so inspiring.
its so much easier to listen to them and agree with them
than your parents.

i think thats an obvious statement for most teenagers these days..

its hard i must confess,
'cuz we have spoken everything short of 'i love you'

just..
pray for me.
i'll get through this.
i'm strong like that.
.. or i'll pretend i am, anyway.

And it may take some time to patch me up inside
But I can't take it so i run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right

this is what God wants for me.
and i'm going to try my best to accept it.
even though i dont understand it..
hopefully i will soon..
and i'll let you know.